2. Ph.D. and stress: You are not alone
You are not alone in this journey
I started writing blog posts on Ph.D. and stress because for a long time I couldn't find anything on the internet to guide me on this subject. Every post I found was about either quitting Ph.D., or being depressed during Ph.D. None of the posts could reflect what I have been through or were a translation of what I felt. Today's post is to remind you that you are not alone.
Ph.D. stress is something all Ph.D.'s should be aware of. Many times we don't even realize how demanding Ph.D. can be with its regular stress. Deadlines, experiments, meetings and all the problems you encounter with occupy your mind and make you feel like having a stressful day is a normal routine. However, dealing with stress in those busy days is not easy when you are overwhelmed with the work. Sometimes the frustration of not being able to deal with everything in a limited time makes your life miserable, and accept it or not, you are the only person who has to deal with every single problem about your project.
When you are overwhelmed with everything in your life, you might think that none of the Ph.D.'s around you have problems as much as you do, but they do. Naturally, you focus on yourself more than others, and this is normal. Sometimes, the problems get bigger and bigger in front of your eyes to a level that you think they are not manageable anymore, while around you others seem to be managing them well. Of course, everyone has different coping mechanisms and not everyone perceives their problems as a growing mountain. For some people, problems are in small pieces and manageable. I used to think that some people were dealing with stress incredibly successfully. Even this idea was making me feel bad, that I am not doing as well as they do. However, some of those people came to a point where they started to struggle and talked to me about their problems. Then I realized, I was not alone. The more I talked with these Ph.D.'s, the more I realized that I was not the only one who gets sad after making a mistake or miscommunicating with the colleagues or feeling unsuccessful and alone...
The importance of sharing and solidarity
Sharing your Ph.D. experiences with others is always very helpful for you to see another viewpoint. Don't hesitate to share your frustration with others, believe me, this will be mutual. In the end, you will be helping each other. Don't worry so much about how you will express yourself, there is no right way of sharing how you feel, but if you don't like to talk about your problems with any Ph.D.'s, you should try talking to people who are close to you or who cares about you. Talk with your friends. Talking with friends will help you to get rid of your biased opinions. Think about it, every mind has different views, and all those views can be helpful for you to solve your problems from many different perspectives. But if you don't like to talk with anyone at all then be old school, read on stress or problem solving, or write about it. Whichever the way you prefer, define the stressors in your life, or define your current problems. Be honest with yourself.
For example, use mind maps to divide your problems into manageable pieces or use diagrams to guide yourself to the solution(s) step by step. For example, define how many steps do you have to follow until you submit your paper before the deadline. And do this for every single bit of it. Or try preparing an action plan and define your strategies. It doesn't have to work like you had planned, but it will help you to categorize your responsibilities on what to do and how to do it. Our minds don't like chaos, and these methods may help you to deal with your problems. Importantly, by using these (or your own) methods, be aware of what (or which problems) makes you stressed, because awareness will give you the strength and motivation to seek for the ways to deal with it.
Again, please don't forget, you are not the only one feeling this way in Ph.D...
Believe me, every problem has several solutions, and you are strong enough to find them. In this way, you should help yourself to define what makes you feel stressed.
Once you know, you can focus on the solutions, not problems anymore.
In the next post, I will be writing about uncertainty as it is one of the biggest problems of Ph.D. life.
Ph.D. stress is something all Ph.D.'s should be aware of. Many times we don't even realize how demanding Ph.D. can be with its regular stress. Deadlines, experiments, meetings and all the problems you encounter with occupy your mind and make you feel like having a stressful day is a normal routine. However, dealing with stress in those busy days is not easy when you are overwhelmed with the work. Sometimes the frustration of not being able to deal with everything in a limited time makes your life miserable, and accept it or not, you are the only person who has to deal with every single problem about your project.
When you are overwhelmed with everything in your life, you might think that none of the Ph.D.'s around you have problems as much as you do, but they do. Naturally, you focus on yourself more than others, and this is normal. Sometimes, the problems get bigger and bigger in front of your eyes to a level that you think they are not manageable anymore, while around you others seem to be managing them well. Of course, everyone has different coping mechanisms and not everyone perceives their problems as a growing mountain. For some people, problems are in small pieces and manageable. I used to think that some people were dealing with stress incredibly successfully. Even this idea was making me feel bad, that I am not doing as well as they do. However, some of those people came to a point where they started to struggle and talked to me about their problems. Then I realized, I was not alone. The more I talked with these Ph.D.'s, the more I realized that I was not the only one who gets sad after making a mistake or miscommunicating with the colleagues or feeling unsuccessful and alone...
The importance of sharing and solidarity
 |
For example, use mind maps to divide your problems into manageable pieces or use diagrams to guide yourself to the solution(s) step by step. For example, define how many steps do you have to follow until you submit your paper before the deadline. And do this for every single bit of it. Or try preparing an action plan and define your strategies. It doesn't have to work like you had planned, but it will help you to categorize your responsibilities on what to do and how to do it. Our minds don't like chaos, and these methods may help you to deal with your problems. Importantly, by using these (or your own) methods, be aware of what (or which problems) makes you stressed, because awareness will give you the strength and motivation to seek for the ways to deal with it.
Again, please don't forget, you are not the only one feeling this way in Ph.D...
Believe me, every problem has several solutions, and you are strong enough to find them. In this way, you should help yourself to define what makes you feel stressed.
Once you know, you can focus on the solutions, not problems anymore.
In the next post, I will be writing about uncertainty as it is one of the biggest problems of Ph.D. life.
Comments